Breaking News!!11

That’s right. For the first time in the history of the intarwebnet*, a gaming forum has actually told its members to “go outside.”

*probably not accurate

It has been reported that today, June the 24th, in the year of 2004, has closed its doors to the public. Rejecting members and guests alike, this gaming community has done the unthinkable.

The administration blames their decision on “the constant bickering, animosity, and general warfare which has plauged us all so in the last few days.”

When asked how he felt about the lockout, average, run-of-the-mill, nobody, general village idiot 40ozFreak said

“I think the situation has gotten entirely out of hand on both sides. The primary members involved, some punished unfairly, others not enough, are acting out of line. The staff in turn are getting heated and there’s more tension than should be on a gaming board. I think it’s good to close it down for a few days and let everyone cool off. Leaving it open only allows for more escalation.”

A sound answer from a sound little man. Good work. That’s the best summary of the staff’s position as well. Well, except the one that the staff posted. Itself. …Right.

Anyway, when asked the same question, The Miker, founder of the popular MikerNET went off on a random rant about his IRC network’s situation. For the life of me..

“It was rather disappointing to learn that GTAForums wanted to part ways with us, but not entirely unexpected. They’ve been ragging on us for months about the constant “Dem-bashing” that stems from here. You can’t really blame US though, the MikerNet staff, it was all the user’s doing. It doesn’t really concern me too much however, since I knew it was going to happen eventually anyway. I do think it was quite immature of certain GTAF admins *cough*az*cough* to say that saying the name of my network in a post is illegal. I also thought it was quite funny and sweet that people made giant MikerNet sigs (well within the limits) and stuff.”

Thanks Mike. That was certainly…unexpected.

So after that ridiculous answer to a perfectly fine question, I decided to go straight to the top for some answers. That’s right, I haxed through public records, and found out administrator DigitalD’s personal information. From there, I bought myself a plane ticket and went to his house. At 3:00am, I busted through his window Splinter Cell Style. After this, I hopped on his computer and looked at his MSN account. I wrote it down, flew home, and IMed him the next day.

You might wonder how I was able to track him down. Well, his name was leaked to me. That’s right. His real name. You see kids, never say real names. The internet is a scary place.

But back on track, DigitalD feels that, “teenagers have been plagued by the GTAForums-disease for too long. Kids who have been sitting in their parents’ basements for months have now been liberated of their painstaking commitments. “

And right he is.

So, the rumors (and offline messages) are true. GTAForums has been closed for a period of time. But please, don’t be sad. It’s not like this is the only place you can talk trash, exploit, publicly humiliate, verbally abuse, and harass people. Of course not. We’re just giving you the opportunity to see what happens when you do it to someone in Real Life�

A message to the rest of the world: If you see a big wave of pale-skinned skinny teenagers running around on the streets, don’t panic, you know why, it’s because GTAF was closed.

So, in closing, stfu, gtfo, and bbq. Kthx.