What do the Eiffel Tower, the Berlin Wall, and an archery bow have in common? They’ve all been in a relationship with a 40-something American lady called Erika Eiffel.
Yes, you read that correctly… Objectum Sexuality is defined as having an attraction to inanimate objects, and Erika Eiffel has some very famous love interests and landmark (teehee) relationships. I guess helicopters move around when they are turned on…but still, I wanted to begin with this curious fetish as a way to introduce “helisexuality” to the people of GTAForums. For some it needs no introduction, however this small but prominent community love helicopters so much they’re not afraid to walk down the street on a Sunday afternoon with banners in the air to show it.
Let’s not get carried away though, these self-professed helisexuals are not actually interested in finding the nearest fuel pipe to stick their dick into (at least, well.. let’s just not go there either), they are just long time fans of Grand Theft Auto’s collection of rotary aircraft and, in particular, attack helicopters.
Headed by principal helicopter activist @Happy Hunter, these fans have been feeling there is an injustice happening in the world of GTA Online right now in regards to the selection of helicopters that are currently available. There are gripes against the small catalogue available to purchase, the low damage threshold of certain helicopters like the Savage, the short missile range in comparison to other aircraft, the homing missile defence options (or lack thereof) and inability to customise… to name but a few of their high demands for change. A petition has been created to lobby Rockstar to take action for the sake of the GTA community’s sanity, (in?)appropriately titled Project: Helisexuality, and with over 47k views and counting the topic is gathering more and momentum after every update that doesn’t offer a new helicopter or adjustments to the current stock.
The most requested helicopter is the Hunter, the powerful attack helicopter available in Vice City and San Andreas, but unfortunately skipped for the HD era of GTA. References to the Hunter are found within GTA V’s files and they can even be seen in action during in-game TV shows, but they remain unused since their discovery. Intentional or saving for a rainy day? The helicopter activists are not quite sure, but they have been very vocal in bringing this chopper to GTA Online as a means to rival troublesome jets and homing launchers (not hating, just stating).
Other requested helicopters include the Sea Sparrow (we’ve got the Special Vehicles, we’ve got the Dodo, what about this water-safe heli?) and a personal favourite, the Little Willie.
Here’s a quote from @Happy Hunter about why helicopters are important to him as a GTA fan. If you’re interested in pledging your support to make helicopters great again, you’ll find the petition links at the bottom of this post. Happy Hunter said:
Helicopters … A big part of their draw – for me – is how constant they’ve been throughout the series. Whether it’s the Savage in GTA Online; playing vigilante missions in the Hunter back in San Andreas; or the Sea Sparrow from Vice City, they’ve been here so long that they’re inseparable from the rest of the game as a series to me. I practically grew up with them in the older GTAs. Even in GTA IV (which took quite a different direction), helicopters were one thing that wasn’t going anywhere. Instead we got the Buzzard – a helicopter that is truly iconic, and that I can easily see being a staple of the series now. I honestly couldn’t imagine the game without them.
So there you have it Rockstar Games; these folks are not trying to get frisky, they just want some new helicopters. They’re at the corner of every GTA boxart, so they have some importance, right? We implore you; the helicopters need you and we need the helicopters, give the dog a bone here, and maybe @Happy Hunter will stop emailing you every day.
You can read the full suggestions and wishlists for helicopters in GTA Online in the below petition topic. Do you agree we need more rotary aircraft?
Pledge your support (or disdain) as you see fit…
GTAForums Petition Topic – Project: Helisexuality
Rockstar Support Petition Topic
Source for images GTA Wiki